Who am I to judge?
Updated: Jul 22, 2019
If you are starting at this post or reading this before my first post, you should probably read 'Narcissistic Andy' for reference. This post will make more sense if you do. If you choose to wing it and try to follow along anyway, because you don't like being told what to do, you are a rebel and I appreciate you. I will try to make it easy for you.
In my post about that douchey narcissist I may have mentioned that he had a friend that was half his age and the bartender at 'his' bar. The one he sits at in the same place because it's 'his seat' (I forgot just how douchey that sounds). So I judged him a bit for hanging out with someone half his age (in my defense, for later, that would only be 10 years younger than me since the narcissist was 10 years older than me). I've also in one of my SMOOT posts previously judged his ex wife for dating someone 20 years younger than her (in my defense, again, that's 20 years and he is a college dropout with no job or car or even his own home and shares a sugar daddy with her).
Get to the point, you say? Well here it is...
On my birthday, I went to that very local bar that the narcissist frequents, it was a Wednesday and I had high hopes he would not be there (even if he was I wouldn't have acknowledged his existence). I did acknowledge someone's existence though. The bartender. In all truth, I had no interest in ever speaking to him either as I felt that the idiot narcissist (Narcissistic Andy not the bartender) probably gave him the same story he gave me about every girl he dated and probably told him I was nuts (later I find that I am correct in this assumption). Also I felt that he had texted him a warning once when I was at the bar which annoyed me. But it so happened that he was the bartender the night of my birthday and I was gifted a large wine glass that I wanted filled with wine. I approached the bar and using his name asked him to carefully fill my wine glass. I expected him to recognize me and just do as I asked but when I used his name he asked me how I knew his name (insert eye roll).
Now, I am not so self important that I think every human that crosses my path should remember me, but I was introduced and it wasn't that long ago. Anyway, I explained that I had come a few times with the idiot narcissist and had been introduced. He asked what happened with him and I said he could read it on my blog and proceeded to get his phone number to text the link. In a very oblivious moment I just gave him my phone number.
He started reading the blog at the bar that night (which I didn't expect), also started texting me (including, since he was reading the blog post, 'I won't ghost') and would wave me in to talk about the blog post. He did mention I didn't talk very highly of him, but I think I was tame (just mentioned he's young and an ass for texting the idiot narcissist). The more I drank the flirtier this started getting. He is very handsome, and has a fun personality, outside of age and being a bartender there's nothing wrong with him as an option. Then a shot (if you know what a muff diver is, it was that horrible thing) comes out and I ask who it's from and yep you guessed it...the bartender.
People came and went throughout the night and this drunk good time stayed until the very last call and got a ride home. I promise there was more flirting and probably more than I can remember (did I say he's fun and handsome yet?). I may or may not have mentioned doing something later, I have no idea. After I was home for 20 minutes my phone rang (not even a text, the phone actually made a ringing sound) and I answered.
Without alcohol I am fairly structured and make good decisions, I am very responsible and have some degree of self respect. Just add alcohol and I am a fun, spirited, spontaneous maybe even irrational party of one. I answered, and I wanted to see him (remember he's good looking and fun, did I already mention that?), let's pretend he's not 10 years my junior. He picked me up a few minutes later and we went for a drive.
I would like to say we just talked and he brought me back home but that is not what happened (remember alcohol was added). Let's just say I had a great time on my birthday and although it was shamefully in a car I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I can. It's my party and I'll be spontaneous if I want to (that's not the song, but I don't cry). Again, I had a good time and other than age I don't really have any concerns or expectations. He texted the next day and since I left my shirt in his car I went to his house and there was even more fun. Very high up there on the scale of great sex. So this has happened a few times (why stop, I have nothing else going on).
So, he mentions that he will need to tell the idiot narcissist. Why, you ask? I have no idea, maybe bro code (I try not to be knowledgeable about bro code). Let's be clear, like everyone else (even though we did not meet online) he isn't showing any interest in me to hang out with or spend quality time with, he has no intention of making this serious (and I don't need him to, I'm enjoying it for what it is). So this is why I'm not sure why he told the idiot narcissist. However, one night at the bar the idiot narcissist sits in his usual seat, his date goes to the washroom and the bartender tells him we bumped into each other.
Now, this is all paraphrasing as I wasn't there but basically what I was told. Bartender says he bumped into me and the response is 'she does not like me', which he obviously knows. Then the bartender proceeds to tell him he's thinking of hanging out with me (not that he has already been hanging out with me) and the idiot narcissist piece of shit asshole responds 'No!' and 'She's Crazy!' There it is, I am one of the crazy girls he dated, can't imagine what he told him I did to be crazy other than call him out on ghosting me like the loser he is, I digress. In the end, they shake hands like I am some sort of commodity and it's cool with the idiot narcissist. Like he ever cared, he really just wanted a chance to say I'm crazy.
I still text with the bartender, although very surface level and haven't seen him in a little bit but not really that long either. He seems less and less eager and that's fine too (I'm not actually crazy). I still think he's cute and fun and there's no issue as far as I know.
Red flags with the bartender...
10 years my junior (maybe not a red flag but probably a reason not to be in this position)
bartender (could be a way to meet potential victims, I know this isn't the case, calm down bartender)
friends with an idiot narcissist (if he can't tell he's a douche his judgement is off)
he has my blog info and is probably reading this
I am grasping a bit with the red flags because there aren't many but I couldn't do a post without it.
So, even though he may read this and get ideas, here are my murder scenarios with the bartender...
poisoned the shot on my birthday
picked the drunken birthday girl up, strangled and left for dead
any number of ways when I show up at his house
after telling the idiot narcissist, who knows where I live, that douche-bag waits outside my place and runs me over at his first chance (this is the most likely scenario)
So, if you are reading this bartender, you pestering me to be a blog post is how this post happened. I have learned a valuable lesson, make sure you are 100% not going to hook up with people before you give them the blog link. Also, don't judge people who date younger. So this was not an online dating situation and not really all that negative but I threw in some murder so it works.
Stay Sexy and Remember to Tip your Bartender.
#onlinedating #sarcasm #narcissism #singlebartender #dating #murder #greatsex #redflags