• Kooky

Updates Post

Updated: Jul 23, 2019

Due to lack of good material but having updates on nearly everyone I thought this would be a good time for an updates post. 


Narcissistic Andy has no update, and I am extremely happy about this.  We live in the same city and I still go to 'his' pub fairly regularly.  It appears my Guardian Angel has sobered up and is keeping me away from that awkwardness and I really appreciate it.  Before Tinder broke up with me I did see him on there...it's too bad I couldn't add a list of red flags for all to see but I'm sure the ladies will find out on their own. Not entirely convinced he wouldn't murder me if we bumped into each other.  I've always wanted to throat punch him so here's hoping it's self defense and I don't become murdery.


Spoils me out of Towner has returned once a month as usual, but, one of the times I feel he was a bit less attentive and I was left a bit annoyed.  It was the usual meet at the hotel, hang out for a bit, he goes for a meeting and comes back and we go out.  This time I knew it was a slightly longer meeting so I had to make some plans.  My father lives down the street so I invited him for a drink at the lounge, SMOOT (Spoils Me Out of Towner is getting hard to write) was kind and said to charge the drinks to the room. I met my Dad at the lobby and we walked right past SMOOT and a coworker (who has no idea I exist) and sat down in plain sight of SMOOT.  We shared some adorable glances and he texted me an "OMG your Dad!  Nice seeing you here".  Dad and and I had a drink, he went home and I went and grabbed some dinner and walked back to the hotel.  There I waited for hours until I fell asleep.  Prior to falling asleep I mentioned to him he could take his time and I would probably just go home.  He asked me to stay, that he would much rather be spending time with me and is working on getting away.  He very sweetly woke me up on his return (quite late) and I stayed.  Said goodbye in the morning and he sweetly kissed me on the head and mentioned being back the following week (he returned a month later).  He made up for all of it on the next return and spent the day he arrived entirely with me.  I picked him up at the airport, we had drinks, went for dinner, had more drinks.  It was a good time, he was the usual sweet SMOOT I've come to adore.  Foot massages and sweet words, hilarious banter and this weird one day of the month where I get to live like the 1%.  Still though, this is not sustainable, I just cannot get the words out of my mouth when he is around and since no one else has any interest in a relationship with me, why ruin a good thing?  At this point I'm pretty sure he's given up on the murder plot or he's very meticulous.


Dirty Augustine is not one that my Guardian Angel (I don't really believe this to be a thing) is protecting me from, maybe she likes Latin folk.  There's been very little contact since he asked to go to coffee and I didn't hear from him for a while until a couple of weekends ago.  One of my closest friends and I decided to go for brunch in her neighborhood, unfortunately the same trendy neighborhood he frequents and works in.  We had a great brunch and as we were leaving the doors of the restaurant I look to my right and who is seated in the patio next door eating his own version of brunch but none other than Dirty Augustine.  I regretted this immediately after but I did a double take (I really didn't want to give him the satisfaction of me giving a damn and that could have been interpreted that way), I nudged my friend and told her who it was.  Nothing happened from there until the other day when an unfortunate accidental message on What's App lead to a brief text session where I finally felt like I got the final word.  So here's what happened.  I mentioned that I changed his name in my phone for some reason or another.  He asked what I changed it to and I used a laughing emoji and said I wasn't telling him that.  He said must be terrible and I countered with 'not terrible' thinking he would just go away now.  So he texted again and in a stupid moment I sent him a screen shot of his name in my phone which is Dirty Augustine.  I obviously was not going to share that this was due to me changing all my blog dates names into their blog names in my phone (yes, I do this).  I shared that it was because of the show Dirty John and how he wasn't who he made himself out to be just like John (without the drugs or attempted murder, although maybe). His response, you ask?  'Now I know'.  Know what?!  You piece of garbage, I'm pretty sure you knew you were a lying piece of shit a long time ago so why would this be so shocking?  To be a pest (which I can be very good at) I responded 'You regret asking?'  to which his response was 'Maybe a little, yes...but fine, I see now'.  Again, see what now?  We haven't talked in months, there is no way he was anything but shady and he wasn't aware of this?  Or did he think I was some stupid girl that was still pining for him and that made him feel good?  Such a dummy.  If he wasn't planning to murder me before I think he might be now, maybe a Dirty John style knife attack (it would be fitting), or just his usual Cartel style (boring).


Toxic Masculinity Sam has remained quiet, he probably has some gun toting girl by his side by now.


Skint Chris made me laugh recently.  Haven't talked to him since my post and then one day a text asking for a ride to the airport!  Is he just on dating apps to get favors because he is 'skint'?  Part of me really wanted to (for material) but I was away on a trip so I had to turn him down.  I don't think this impressed him as I haven't had any favors asked of me again.  Maybe there's a revenge murder in the works for not helping him out.


Seeking Submissive Sean does text me randomly here and there, mostly 'How are you?' but I did get a random 'what color is your underwear?'  I send short responses (if any, in the case of underwear questions) but if he ever tries to get to something or make a point I will update you on the update.  I have no idea what the MO is here with this guy.


Hospital Technician Ted did text multiple times asking to meet and giving me his number.  I didn't respond, I'm waiting for him to remember my number from the file.  He'll text directly and I'll know for sure if he's stalker #2.  Then I'll have to find a way to get #1 and #2 together to fight to the death.


With the exception of SMOOT, they are all no good to me and all still totally capable of being murdery.


#onlinedating #murder #redflags #nightmaredates #sarcasm

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