In one of my posts I mentioned my family curse (I may have also mentioned that I am a skeptic), today I have to ask is this thing real? Does anyone know how to end a centuries old Transylvanian curse? I really don't want to use this as a cop out and to throw away any responsibility for the hot mess that is my life but at this point it's what I'm holding on to.
So there seems to be a pattern in my dating. Guy thinks I'm amazing from my pictures and profile. Then guy meets me; is shocked I look like my pictures, cannot understand at all how I keep being ghosted, expresses how beautiful I am, how smart and introduces the idea that maybe I'm intimidating (Heaven forbid a woman be pretty and have a big ole brain). From there a slow tapering in interest until he disappears, the time it takes varies but the longest period is 2 months (shortest, one date).
So, after that darn pilot, I wasted no material collecting time and immediately turned back to my online dating profile. Re-matched with people that had previously slowly tapered away before we ever had a chance to meet. Even met with one of them. Recently one of these people told me after meeting me once he didn't see long term relationship material for us. How can you envision that after one meeting you ask? I have no clue, it's a cop out. This girl was married for 15 years to someone who didn't give her any attention because she is damn loyal?! Anyone can be long term once you actually get to know them.
Let's break down 'long term relationship material'. How many men are out there living in this weird world where they think a first date comes with an immediate connection and spark? Or am I wrong in thinking that this isn't immediate and built as you get to know each other? I obviously do not believe in love at first sight. Maybe it's sweet that some men do, but sorry, you'll be single forever if this is how you think that will turn out (everyone has an opinion, blah blah blah). So in what way am I not long term relationship material? List time!
I have a successful career
Been in an 18 year relationship that lacked sex and never cheated
Loyal as fuck
See a therapist for continued improvement
Not fake, not needy, don't play games
Can drink a full bottle of wine and appear the same as I was before that bottle
I get things done
Let's be honest there's way more than that but I don't really need to prove myself. My point is that 'Long term Potential' is not the issue. That is clearly making it my fault you aren't interested. Just say I wasn't feeling it or I didn't feel we clicked. Use the term 'I'. Because let's be honest here the only thing I can say is how I feel or what I am. I am amazing, doesn't mean you have to want me. I have all the potential, you just aren't interested. It's not about potential, it's about interest and maybe even attraction. I mean I'm cute but also obnoxious, loud, spirited, argumentative and I think I'm a comedian. Not everyone is attracted to that.
Back to the curse, I believe this Transylvanian Witch penned the phrase 'there's no long term potential'. So now that I am back on the online dating and adding more potential murderers to my life the curse is rearing it's ugly head in other ways. I had dates lined up all week, getting back on that horse, ready for more to write about. What happens today? I had to cancel my date and look like a flake. Why do you ask? I woke up this morning to no hot water! That's right the hot water heater died. I've been telling my landlord this for months but when you have a curse you of course also rent from a slum lord.
I resorted to trying to find somewhere to shower before work, even texted 'the bartender'. In a moment of using my brain I remembered I could shower at my work gym. Thank goodness for that. This post could've ended up quite different.
So, in August I noticed the water heater was leaking and there was black mold all over my furnace room. I texted pictures and had someone come in and do an estimate. I was assured that the water tank was a ticking time bomb and it needed to be replaced immediately. The slumlord said wait until it goes all the way and I will send someone to clean the mold (he never sent anyone). Today it went and obviously the slum lord is on vacation, he gave me a contact to get it figured out. When I messaged the contact he lectured me on threatening (because I said if I don't get a response soon I'd cancel the rent cheque and pay using that). I was clear that this was my right and I had to inform before I did that. He then apologized. I brought my laptop home and 3 hours later I am still sitting here waiting for the plumber.
My date pretended he didn't think I was a flake but I am pretty sure he's going to after I tell him I have no other free time this weekend. What if he was 'the one' (my murderer, calm down I wasn't meaning someone to settle down with ha ha)? He could have had a weird fetish to write about or a cool new life perspective I could mock. Now look where we are, a boring post about a curse that is likely not real (I hope).
After therapy today I am picking up a bottle of wine, I will toast the curse and drink the entire thing. Who is to say that isn't the cure for a curse, drink a lot of wine seems like a good anti-curse to me. That is of course if my therapist doesn't put me in a rubber room after I tell her my new list of drama (it's only been 2 weeks since I've seen her). Sometimes I don't believe this is real, I joke that we are controlled by a SIM and my SIM controller is an acne prone 16 year old boy with braces that has a lisp and girls won't speak to him. He controls his SIM character (Me) and gets all that angst out on my life (seems more realistic than a god that is continuously punishing me because I was Joseph Stalin in a past life).
OK, rant over. I have a taco date tomorrow, maybe he'll be impressed by my taco eating.
Stay Sexy Folks and stay away from curse happy Transylvanian Witches!