So, I have finally decided to go all the way back. The first dates I ever had after my marriage ended.
As it is, it took me a year, but I felt ready to finally move forward. Boy, was I not ready (I am still not ready), this process sucks. I have kissed so many frogs it’s unbelievable and I have learned the hard way that men only value me for one thing and it’s not my intelligence and hardworking personality (although I do think users love my over functioning problem). In this process I have been through a serious medical diagnosis, the return of my stalker, the continuing saga of my divorce, friends passing away and the continued absence of my family and a support system. In my first date though I found a friend and a mini support system.
Mr. Vic and I met online (on Match if you can believe it). He was funny! Absolutely one of my favourite things (he had height too of course). We spoke on the phone and messaged for quite some time because as it turned out he wasn’t local (How is this always a thing for me?). Not terribly far but also too far for real dating. He mentioned that I could probably easily figure out his last name using the internet (I knew where he worked) so I did and have always called him Mr. Vic (let's be honest here, I am not sharing the actual name) since I figured it out. We got along very well and no-one thus far has ever compared to how good a man he is (sorry to the couple of people I have dated that read this blog). To this day we message frequently or call, and if either of us is going through anything we can get support from each other.
So, we were definitely feeling each other but that really didn’t matter due to distance. However, I hadn’t been with a man for years due to my ex-husband wanting nothing to do with me and I needed to have a need met. I was worried how it would go (after 5 years it's hard to believe, I know). After our long conversations and great vibe, I decided in a weak moment (it was stupid, but turned out) to make the trip out to where he lives and see him (never meeting him before and staying at his place, I am not always smart). I did tell one friend and gave her the address.
I had to take a Ferry to his place and he picked me up on the other side. Tall, handsome, personality exactly as he was over the phone. We went for dinner and chatted, went for a walk after and the entire time he was an absolute gentleman. We eventually went back to his place where he had a bottle of wine for me since obviously my wine obsession was not a secret (I know accepting wine from a stranger, that would be how I get kidnapped).
Then it happened, my first kiss after an 18-year relationship. I was likely insanely awkward in the moment and I can remember still that feeling that finally someone wanted me. It was an amazing kiss and he was so kind not to mention my embarrassing awkwardness. We moved to the couch where things got more intense and then headed to bed. He knew the entire time that this was the first time for me after years and my marriage ending. He shared with me that I was the first woman to stay over after his marriage ended. It’s a weird little bond we have and that’s kind of part of our connection. He was the first and only guy that didn’t need to be told about condom requirements and that too I appreciate (why on earth in this day and age are men still so against being safe?).
So I had a great time, and the next day, he picked me up some coffee and we watched some TV before he took me out to show me around his city. There were obviously red flags with this one but, in probably one of very few instances, I was glad I ignored them…
Matches with people knowing they are in another city
Inviting strangers to spend the night
Calls himself an Alpha Male (eye roll)
Very confident, a little too much for some (borderline braggy)
It has been nearly a year since I went home from that trip but I have never regretted it and he holds a special place in my heart. We still message regularly and sometimes talk on the phone. We share wins with our kids and things that we are struggling with and he has been there for me at times with advice when no one else was. I still call him by the silly nickname I gave for him early on and appreciate him very much for not being a murderer the day he picked me up (I'll assume he still isn’t a murderer).
I went to a stranger’s house in another city and only told one person, I definitely could have been murdered…here’s how:
Picked me up from the ferry, took me to a remote location and murdered me (in a very alpha male way, I envision a butcher knife or strangulation)
Took me home, enjoyed our time, murders me next day and adds me to bodies in the backyard (same methods as above)
Pulls a no-show and as I am seeking help in figuring out what to do I seek help with an axe murderer and we all know what would happen there
Takes me on the Ferry home to keep me company (this did not happen) and pushes me overboard
Is actually a hit man for my ex-husband and takes me out upon arrival via sniper rifle (let’s be honest I thought my ex was poisoning me at one point so this is the most likely one, although he couldn’t afford the hit man)
I wasn’t murdered and I think this goes into the books as one of the best rebounds ever. I don’t make friends or connections easily but he made it easy (maybe I’m not the problem, maybe it’s the people I am meeting). Thanks Mr. Vic.