• Kooky

Late Night Louie

Updated: Jul 23, 2019

I don't know where to start with this one.  I haven't seen Louie in months but haven't written about him because I'm just not sure what to write.  Probably the funniest and best banter I've had with anyone. I think we were originally a bumble match and he pointed out that we are a really good match on eHarmony even though I never really went through with that one (I guess it gives you a compatibility scale). I have to be honest, he must have lied on his eharmony survey because if he really did feel the same way as me when it comes to relationships and priorities his actions say otherwise.


Our first meet was months ago to go for a walk on the beach for sunset.  He's tall and handsome, has an uncanny resemblance to an actor from a TV series.  We had a good conversation and went to a restaurant for a drink to continue on.  We had a glass of wine, went back to our cars, shared a nice kiss and I went home. He texted me to come back after and spend more time with him but I said no.  Already a sign that he was just looking for a booty call.  I thought I'd see how the next invite would go.


Didn't hear from him for days and then he would message a bit.  More days would go by and then more texting.  Our conversations always pretty hilarious which is most likely why I let this go on for so long (and of course he's taller than me).  Then I was out one night and he was out as well,  he suggested I meet him at his place when my night ended.  Stupid drunk me, took a cab to his house.  I accidentally fell asleep at his place and took a cab home at 4am.  I spent $75 in cabs that night!  And for what???  Months of late at night texts asking me to come by but never any interest in getting to know me.  It got to the point that when he would text 'I want to see you' I would respond 'you want to "see" me' because really it's always dark when I'm getting these invites (he can't see shit).


What's funny is that he has his kids one week on and one week off.  I originally expected that on his off weeks he might actually try to see me and go do something.  Never.  Too busy when he has kids and when he doesn't.  This does not seem legit to me.  He was still texting every few days, still funny but the only invites that come are late at night.  Not to mention they aren't usually that enticing.  I've made the comment 'aren't you romantic' many times being sarcastic because his invites lack any sweetness at all.  I've told him once that I wasn't looking to be a booty call and I'll need more than that, not to worry, we don't want the same things and that's ok.  But he still didn't go away.  Instead he started trying to get me to come by during the daytime.  I mentioned again during another invite that I was not interested in just the booty call so he should move on.  So he says he'd take me for lunch one day and then bailed on it a day later (surprise, surprise he's a total flake). I've never gotten into it with him by getting annoyed or anything because this never got off the ground and he owes me nothing and I owe him nothing. I've basically just given the uninterested texts back and slowly he has contacted me less and less.  Now it's been a while so I thought he deserved a post.


He once told me that the thing he likes about me is that there's no conflict with me (I think it's that I don't get emotional and invested very quickly).  Sounds like someone has a lot of conflict in relationships and I'm going to go out on a limb here but it is probably his fault.  I mean in what relationship is the other person okay when you are ignoring them, using them for sex and making them feel completely unimportant?  The only good news is this never became a relationship.


Red Flags with Late Night Louie...


  • dislikes his mom (a red flag, but some moms aren't deserving of their kids love so I can be slightly understanding)

  • sparse messaging (rarely anything of substance)

  • only late night invites (story of my life, I mean, I am actually really fun out and about but it appears that no guy will ever know)

  • invites strangers to his home when his kids are there (actually told me he'd leave the door unlocked and if I bump into one of his kids just tell them you're here to see their dad, um no thanks)

  • 45+ years old and makes full use of bitmojis (he made a good one though, looks just like him)

  • is a part of some man group (I didn't learn this until later and when I did I researched it and it seems like a bunch of women hating dudes that sit around and empower each other.  Why do they need so much support from each other?  Are they discriminated against somehow? No.  Or do they learn from each other how to be disrespectful woman dominators?)

So he is funny, we 'are' compatible, he's tall and good looking but once again has no real interest and no idea how disrespectful his behaviour really is.  The man group is enough to know this wouldn't end well (I have a smart mouth, I have a feeling this would not make these types happy).  I have nothing against men hanging out and shooting the shit together but unless you are a monk (you know who you are) and in a monastery, organized man support groups just sound greasy and perfect eye roll material (I've just lost all my male readers).  You are welcome to comment on all the benefits of male support groups (just for being a man, I'm not talking about support groups for medical conditions or actual problems just how tough it is to be a man).  So in short, he's just another horny serial online dater and not my problem.


Ways I could have been murdered by knowing Late Night Louie...


  1. late night visit to his house (no one knew I was there), so many options

  2. tricked by angry man group and sacrificed for the man gods

  3. go to unlocked house to sneak in, teen-aged kid thinks I'm an intruder and proudly takes me out and protects his family (horny dad is disappointed he's not getting any that night but that's about it)

So, I didn't need much to move on from this one but also didn't know if he was very interesting to write about (I mean most of my stories seem to have the late night text theme).  I am running low on material though so I had to find a way.  Thanks Late Night Louie for introducing me to the concept of man support groups, the life of discrimination must be tough (insert eye roll).


#onlinedating #bumble #hinge #bootycall #murder #redflags #sarcasm

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