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  • Kooky

Lady Luster

Updated: Jul 22, 2019

So, I don't have to meet someone special via an online app (nor do I particularly want to) but really no one is picking me up while I'm out and about because that just isn't the way anymore.  Truly online dating (at least in my opinion) rarely leads to relationships and everyone is just looking for the next best thing and that's usually a hook up.  I have guy friends getting unsolicited nudy pics daily and that competition is too stiff (no pun intended) for me.  I am not about to start sending nudes to get attention (obviously not the kind I am looking for).  So what are my options other than constantly matching, meeting and deciding that all they want is a hookup?  I decided to just be adorable while out and about.

Well, this has not been attracting men (what I think is adorable may be misconstrued to most men as obnoxious and loud), I did however manage to unintentionally pick up a lady at a local pub.  I'm sitting at the bar with my friend having a plethora of bourbon and this woman sits next to me.  She is clearly into the ladies and I clearly knew this.  I told her I am not on the same team, however, I was friendly and fun as usual and I can't help if me being friendly is often mistaken for flirty.  Who knows how long this drunken conversation lasted but we all left the bar at the same time.  No, My friend and I did not leave with her, just at the same time.

I don't fully recall (I had a bit too much drink that night, may have woken up the next morning with the lettuce of a Junior Chicken on my face) how or why I gave her my number.  The next morning though there were messages.  They were nice, checking if we got home okay, calling us beautiful, and saying thanks for a fun night.  I sent polite short messages in return but tried to keep the responding to a minimum because among other things I had a headache.  I believe she was not happy with the lack of read receipts so suddenly I was getting Facebook messenger messages from her.

She drunk texts me frequently, asking what my friend and I are up to.  Even one night a message that she was drunk and going to bed but will leave her ringer on in case I need her.  That one was confusing, I met you once at a bar, why would I need you in the middle of the night?  So, whatever this is, someone needing a new friend, I have no real issue with it.  Unless she is looking to me to be her lover (not my deal) and then I'll have to let her down easy.  In any event, I now know my charm works on the ladies but clearly still not men.

Red Flags with my Lady Luster

  • Alone at the bar Friday night and befriending strangers (I'm grasping, I know)

  • Weird texts insinuating a closer relationship

  • Adding to messenger when she has my number for text

 I do appreciate that she thinks highly enough of me from that one meeting to want to be friends (or whatever else) and I wouldn't be opposed to hanging out again sometime as long as everyone knows it's platonic (it's not just ladies, if a guy wanted more and I didn't I wouldn't be hanging with him either) so that no leading on of anyone occurs.  And hey a lady could be just as murdery as a man so let's break down the murder scenarios on this one.

All the ways I could have been murdered by Lady Luster

  1. Too much Bourbon, passed out and friend went to ladies room and she kidnaps me and murders me

  2. Poisons my Bourbon (obviously)

  3. We refuse to hang out with her after the bar (which did sort of happen, we said we were going home) and she stabs us from behind

  4. Bar fight, due to my obnoxious personality and she stabs me with a broken beer bottle

  5. Stalker #3?  Hey maybe she can get rid of the other 2 via murder (one could dream)

#dating #pickedupatbar #murder #redflags #sarcasm #ladylust

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