• Kooky

How I got banned from Tinder and the Results say...

Updated: Jul 23, 2019

This is no joke, I got banned from Tinder!  Goodness who gets banned from Tinder?!

So, here's how this went down.  I was talking at work one day to my lovely coworker, we were discussing Seeking Submissive Sean when she gave me the idea to survey all my past matches to see what men really do feel is appropriate when it comes to online dating...BRILLIANT.  At least this was brilliant until Tinder removed me for Spamming people (What the Heck Tinder).  Sometimes I don't really think through all the repercussions of my "great" ideas (and in this case coworker's great ideas).


I may have messaged every match even if we have never actually messaged to ask them to fill out my survey (technically spamming, I guess).  It was to reveal what is really going on in the minds of men on these things, not really to get a response for dating I guess.  Turns out Tinder does not in fact want you to message every match (which I thought was the point in this thing), in fact, messaging them all at once is what they refer to as 'spam'.  However, I thought it may connect me with these people somehow and it was for no gain or purpose other than to get to know my matches (and add material to my blog).  So, Fuck You Tinder, your app sucks anyway, I have now joined Hinge (I couldn't possibly only have Bumble, which by the way allowed my Spam, thank you Bumble).


Let's be honest here, I really do want to know what men are thinking when online dating.  My experience in the past year truly has been that they don't want anything serious whether they say they do or not.  Sex is brought up instantly and almost as the only conversation if you let it go long enough.  If you are lucky enough to get something to last more than a few dates, once they aren't interested they aren't mature enough to let you know and in my experience just disappear.  I know there are people on these apps that don't do this but I haven't met one yet.


For the sake of full disclosure, I am not a dream girl for everyone (actually probably very few).   I am a little dark, sarcastic, emotionally stunted from a tough upbringing and I have a hard time trusting people.  I try to hide it but I imagine if this comes out in any way it's probably a red flag and they go running.  BUT, I am fit and athletic, young looking and pretty, successful and driven and don't need anyone to take care of me (these are great traits, they have to partially make up for the others, right?)


(One of my running pics from my running Insta, doesn't totally give away my identity but gives you an idea)

Below are the questions and responses to my survey.  Unfortunately, since Tinder had the majority of matches and they weren't able to respond, 7 responses is all I got.  But for the sake of some entertainment and maybe a little understanding of how the opposite sex is using this app here you go.


Sure, I'll give you guys this one.

42.9% swipe right because you too do not just want hookups Then an even share between: Swipe right anyway. Almost every woman who writes "no hookups" is willing to hookup if there's chemistry. And, Other: Open to hook ups and non hook ups. Hook ups keep you busy until you find the right non hook up. Almost 30% consider this a challenge and even though you just want a hookup swipe right (of course assuming you are interested in general)


This one gets me. I wish I could ask follow up questions but I have no idea who gave these answers. How does one tell 'Arrogance' by a person's profile? Cat Ladies? Are there actual people showing off their cats? I have to agree with the 'hipster/yoga people' thing. And, I really want to know what the last guy has against sobriety. Also, what constitutes ugly humour? There are just too many questions.


42.9% Never??? How have I only met the people that always do? I am so sorry we never met up 'Never' people. I may have met up with 'Often' guy though.


**In Maury Povich voice** And I have determined that is a lie! (Maybe not for these specific people but more often than not in my experience there's a lie in there).

This seems about right to me.

OK, SURE.

In my experience this is not true, I have obviously never been out with one of these


How does one tell if someone is narcissistic if they haven't met?

I do appreciate some honesty in this one finally. Haven't but probably will! (However, grow some balls and just text "sorry, I'm just not really clicking with you, sorry it's not going to work out with us")


Out of 7 responses this is not a surprise. Although, I have seen an ex-coworker's husband (in good standing) on Bumble multiple times. We haven't talked in 10 years so I don't feel like I can say anything.

Not surprising either, the ladies mostly do it this way too.

Again, thanks for the honesty, just be sure they also know you are just in for a hookup and not pursuing this further. Sex is different for a woman emotionally so if they aren't just in it for a hookup themselves you may be hurting them emotionally.

OK so in the end this really didn't get me any closer to understanding men and their online dating habits or anything else really.  This post didn't even have a murder scenario.  Let's make one for consistency sake...one of the respondents reads this, then finds me and hits me with their car.  THE END.


So that is how I got banned from Tinder, and all for some knowledge that I didn't really gain.


#onlinedating #tinder #bumble #hinge #maleopinion #onlineprofiles #sarcasm #bannedfromtinder

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