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  • Writer's pictureKooky

French Canadian Fire Fighter

I felt I had to finally write about this crazy Quebecois after a small shout out in one of my previous posts.  This guy was actually one of my first dates post marriage.  Maybe even my first Bumble match.  He was also the weirdest personality I have met so far.  An aggressive narcissist that tried masking the personality disorder with too much information and the accent didn't help him out at all. So, in a previous post, I mentioned that the French Canadian accent is the only one I dislike but recently I have met a Quebecois with a much more toned down version of the accent and it wasn't terrible (not great either). So I have decided that in this case it was an obnoxious voice added to the French Canadian accent that I cannot stand.

Of course he was tall (my original and long standing requirement), and the chat seemed alright so I agreed to meet for a drink. Turns out he doesn't only have an obnoxious accent. He also had; obnoxious hair, obnoxious clothes, obnoxious hand gestures and and obnoxious personality all together. I am sure even the server thought he was obnoxious. She gave me that what are you doing here with this guy look on multiple visits to the table (in my mind when writing this I said table with a French Canadian accent). He gave me that embarrassed by your dad feeling that you get when you are a teen going anywhere in public with your father. OK, so not every dad, I am mostly referring to my own and there may be some readers that relate. It's that dad that makes rude, racist or sexist jokes that make the server uncomfortable or they don't understand it and it gets insanely awkward and embarrassing (for everyone involved except the oblivious dad). The firefighter was (or is, I believe he is still alive) much the same, to the point that it gave me this PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) emotion that is a lot like a tortured scream stuck in your body and unable to come out for what seems like an eternity. People (I am not sure who these people are) sometimes say that you look for a partner like your father. Not in my case, in my case if I see any traits (his bad traits, there are some good ones, more-so in his later years) like my father I go running and screaming in another direction.

There was some good convo though, not all bad but mostly I am attracted to the narcissist types (hmmm like my dad? I must break this) and it was a conversation all about him, his child and his ex. I am pretty sure he wouldn't recognize me on a street he was so self absorbed. He even showed me numerous pictures of his child (I mean a lot of pics! Come on you just met me, I am not invested enough to want to see these pictures). Also...Dudes!!! I am speaking to all you online guys who share pictures of your kids with strangers. What in the holy fuck is wrong with you?! And ladies too, if you are doing this, STOP IT RIGHT NOW! I mean, I see so many online profiles of guys with their children (I obviously don't see women's profiles). If you are too stupid to keep their privacy private and know that it is your responsibility to protect them from the crazies in the online dating world there is no hope for you and you are an auto swipe left from me. If your child is not choosing to be put on there, you should be making the right choice and not putting them on there. He did not post pics of her online, or else we never would have met (darn it).

So after the obnoxious date ended we hugged goodbye and he went on his way. He texted me later saying he'd like to meet again. In a bout of second guessing myself (this was one of my very first dates) I said sure. We didn't make a plan and he continued to text me for a bit (mostly kid pics, insert eye roll). Until finally he decides it's time. Where do you suppose he decides the second date should be? You guessed it...his hot tub at his house and to see where it goes. Of-freaking-course, this was the first of many times the second date suggestion is just come over to my house at night and have some fun.

In a stupid moment, I did finally agree to go. Only I backed out a day later, because, among other things I was not looking to be murdered. Well, this caused him to actually pick up a phone and obnoxiously (in that very loud obnoxious French Canadian accent) berate me for being busy and not having time for him (keep in mind we have only had one date!). Even when I offered to make another plan with him he accused me of being a flake. This is only a step behind the guy that commented on me being fat (I am a 5'9'" size medium under 140lbs, so not fat asshat). So when I started avoiding him after that it should have made sense but he didn't get it. Up to almost 6 months later he'd still try to text me occasionally with pics guessed it...his kid that I've never met or care about. He needs to know his audience, should've sent ab pics or something. I really scratch my head on this one.

Red flags with the French Canadian Firefighter...

  • obnoxious accent

  • narcissistic personality disorder

  • firefighter (my cousin says they are all cheaters, every single one)

  • not at all self-aware

  • overshares pictures of child (I wonder how common it is to use a child to lure in an adult)

  • shares problems with ex and makes it out that she's crazy (usually when a guy says his ex is crazy it is because he did something that caused a painful, dark, maybe even crazy reaction. Not because she is actually crazy...know the difference guys)

So this never made its way to a second date but it did make for months of weird random picture texts. If he has met someone (how is he more lovable than me?) I honour the woman who would love him in all his obnoxious charm.

And of course this obnoxious Quebecois good time could have ended in murder and here's how...

  1. meeting for a drink, dark parking lot, poisoned drink, you know...the usual

  2. hot-tub second date, turn him down and then he drowns me

  3. I cannot handle the obnoxious French Canadian voice and kill him (I am shocked that this didn't happen)

  4. the server murders us in a fit of rage due to his rude comments, awkward moments and what I can only assume was a terrible tip

Well, thank you French Canadian Fire Fighter for showing me your true colours right from go, I appreciate you for teaching me in my early days of dating what I don't want.

#onlinedating #firefighterdate #frenchcanadianaccent #murder #redflags #sarcasm #bumble #obnoxious

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