DBAG DAN
I am sure you are asking by now, why I have not given up...well it's partially hope and boredom and a little piece of me really enjoys writing this blog. It is getting harder and harder though to keep dating this mixed bag of misogynists, liars, creepers and just plain boring guys. I sometimes miss my ex because although he hurt me and lied to me he was still well above these people. Anyway, I digress, let's talk about DBAG Dan.
This is a human that tells you everything you want to hear but also over shares gross things as well. He is okay looking, nothing to write home about, a regular guy...strawberry blonde with a groomed beard (not something I enjoy, anyway). States explicitly that he is not into hookups, wants to connect and get to know you...blah blah blah. You have to know that none of this needs to be said, what we need is actions, show us this is the way you are. Telling me you are a great guy is a red flag...and oh boy did he not like being told he has red flags haha but that is later. We had a first date; great banter, fun time, and he got the bill. He was nervous when we met and I was not immediately attracted to him. Not to mention he does the same job as my ex husband and that throws me off a bit too.
DBAG texted me every morning with a 'Good Morning Beautiful' and although that was nice he was starting to come across disingenuous. We had a second date planned and he canceled because he was sick, I can accept this but he had also postponed our first date originally because of work. Patterns are appearing. We did end up having a second date and it was much like the first, we did connect well and were able to chat without issue. at this point he had told me he was going camping on the Island and would be gone for the weekend. This is not a big deal to me, we have only had two dates, have fun.
DBAG had told me that he removed Tinder after he met me and sent me a screenshot (Did I ask?...No, I did not). I told him I thought it was a bit fast and I wasn't quite ready to do so myself. However, if he ever wanted to sleep with me, I would have to be the only person he was seeing and talking to. He can date me but there would be nothing else unless I am the only person. Of course he reassures me that he is only talking to me and that I am what he wants (because all he is after is a hookup, so he needs to say this for it to work with me). Unfortunately, as things progress, this gross human decided to ask me if I like toys (you know the sexual kind), I didn't like him bringing that up already but I answered. He then informed me (as he has to many others) that he has a toy box to enjoy with his partner. WHAT?! Gross Dude! You want to use toys you used on other people with me? Hell to the NO. I told him there is no way in hell I would do that. So, here I am already losing interest with this person.
DBAG texts me when he is leaving for his "Guys Trip", and I wish him well. That night in talking to some other women who online date, I find out that he talks to many people about this toy box, was dating many of us at the same time and was a smooth talking liar. So now what do I do? I was so agitated and just done with yet another one of these ridiculous men.
I decide to text him, 'How is it going?' and he sends me a photo (bathroom selfie of course) from a nice hotel. Ummmm weren't you camping with the guys? There are no guys in sight and the towel wrapped around him has a big brown mark on it. Ew ew ew. I texted that it didn't look like he was camping and he told me (as if I am the dumbest person alive) that his friend screwed up the camping reso and they had to hotel. And they all managed to get their own 4 star hotel rooms last minute in a bustling city. This is when I told him I see a red flag and he did not like it. I said the story doesn't make sense. Not at all. He could have sent me a picture with his buddies but didn't.
During that weekend after I called him out he still texted me like everything was normal with the exception of his texting (which he used to be great at) suddenly took 2 to 4 hours for a response. So we were to meet on his return and go out for a date (I was planning to confront him then). He texted that night while I was sleeping asking if we were still on.
I responded in the morning with 'yeah, when?'. DBAG doesn't respond for a few hours and eventually says 'Good Morning Beautiful' but does not answer the question as to when we were meeting. I respond and ask again and no response. 3 hours later I say that it is funny how since he left he cannot respond to the simple question of when we are going to meet after I immediately responded to his text.
This begins WWIII of texting. DBAG going on and on how he just went on a guys weekend and doesn't use his phone to remain present (hahaha ok buddy, I've seen dudes hang out with each other) and how dare I think he's some big red flag and question him. He accused me of thinking he was on some hookup trip (I did think that and I am right), why would he ever do that? He took Tinder down for me and I had no reason not to trust him (doesn't understand that trust is earned....amateur). I have many reasons, first you lied about what your trip was...weird. Stayed in a hotel, not sharing a room with your friends and let's really not talk much more about the aforementioned dirty towel. Also, I know guys go there and vice versa for hookups, it is a known thing. Instead of proving me wrong (a picture of just one other guy) or even trying to reassure me he is defensive and attacking me as jealous, needy and whatever else.
Listen, we had two dates, I have no attachment to you and really you weren't that great from the start but I am going to call shady where I see it and your behaviour DBAG was Shady. Anyone who gets that defensive and gaslighty is also guilty as charged. I told him from the way he was reacting, I was pretty sure I hit the nail on the head and he was doing exactly as I thought. I also said my problem is that I am not looking to get the dreaded herpes and this is why this matters. He took that as me saying he has herpes and I am making a baseless accusation. I was just saying sleeping around causes STIs (not smart enough to understand the reference I guess) . Turns out from chatting to some single ladies, he did previously give one of them an STI which explains why he got so defensive and told me he has never had an STI in his life. Just a pathological liar at this point.
Unfortunately for DBAG Dan, he doesn't know how many single women in this town talk to each other. He absolutely was on a trip to see some other woman and he was lying to her too. Not that we were exclusive at all, he just needed to tell me and I would've told him that I am not into someone getting to know me and having hookups still, then peaced out. I want transparency so I can decide, it is not neediness or jealousy. A person also isn't required to text me back that fast normally but when you have plans and are trying to plan your day it was just disrespectful.
Red flags with DBAG Dan...
The toybox, Oh My Goodness, gross dude (and how many women he told that to...or even worse, used it with)
Saying everything you want to hear and telling you he is a great guy (if you have to tell someone you are a great guy, you probably aren't)
From another province, just here for work
Has a child in another province and doesn't seem to care about living away from the child
Love bomber, tells you everything you want to hear (other than the toybox...I am not sure how he thinks women want to hear that)
Sends bathroom selfies (including brown stained towel...when you are in a hotel those towels were clean when you got there)
Always sending texts using voice notes (likes the sound of his own voice)
Anyway, he kept texting me voice note defensive garbage and I told him to Fuck Off, he continues, so I asked if I needed to block him. He stopped (phew, or so I thought) and I took my dog out, then while I am out another text.
'I'm in your area now, but I guess I should just fucking turn around', to which I replied, 'Why would you come here knowing we weren't meeting?' (we live nowhere near each other)
He says, 'I got you flowers to apologize' and I asked why he would do that if he did nothing wrong and what then stopped him?
'You told me to Fuck Off so you are not getting flowers now'
So he bought flowers after I told him to Fuck off, came to my area knowing he wasn't going to drop them off and then told me about it so I would, what? Suddenly want those flowers so badly and beg for him to come back? I called him a tool and blocked him. What an actual weirdo.
So he's a messed up gross dude (toybox and dirty towel ew ew ew) trying to bang everyone in the area and things could have gotten murdery so here goes...
He works on a construction site so plenty of places to get rid of a body. He has me over, and the toybox is actually a murder kit and well the story ends there (I was not going to his home any time soon).
He did pick me up at my house a couple of times and he knows where I live, if I get hit by a big white pickup truck and die...it was him.
I did meet him that day and brought this stuff up in person and not over text, he strangles me and disposes of me at said construction site.
Both dates wee had were on the water, a good old fashioned knock me out and push me in would have worked.
Gives me an incurable STI that kills me, ew ew ew (I am pretty sure if he has something he would not be upfront about it just by how defensive he was about these things)
#onlinedating #onlinedatingvancouver #murder #redflags #dirtbags #hookupculture #tinder #bumble #hinge #POF